Rakesh Sethi, BS, CAHP

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Ayurvedic Practitioner

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Unhappy with Marriage: Try Using the Right Emotions Part 2

Posted on: April 8th, 2011 by Rakesh Sethi 2 Comments

This is a second article in this series of articles (Click here to read Part 1.) People, unhappy with their marriage, often try to save the marriage or relationship by indulging in sensual pleasures or using sense objects to please each other. This works like a magic when genuine emotions are propelling these actions. Though your intent and emotions are genuine, but what about when and how often you should indulge? Many people overindulge in the sensual and material pleasures and go on indiscriminately pleasing their partner. At surface, this appears wonderful and frankly who wouldn’t love to receive more attention and pampering, especially when unhappy with marriage. But let us take a closer look.

Keep in mind that all sensual acts (like sex) and sense objects pleasing to your five senses come with a diminishing value. Meaning the first experience is always more thrilling, exciting, and pleasing than the each subsequent one. So overindulgence and indiscriminate use of sensual acts and objects diminishes the sensual pleasure you draw from them and gradually all pleasure is disappears. Subsequently, you end up indulging in such acts not to draw pleasure but only to avoid pain and discomfort. This is nature’s law that governs our five senses and you can not change it. So use this knowledge to when you are unhappy with marriage or relationship in the right way. Use your intellect to control your tendencies to over please your partner indiscriminately.

Another mistake people make is over expressing their love or in other words “pouring it on too thick” indiscriminately. Imagine, if you are on the receiving end of it, it would be uncomfortable and difficult to reciprocate. The saying is so true that it is far more difficult to receive love than to give. Especially, when you receive indiscriminately you also begin to question its genuineness. So you must refrain from throwing around loving emotions on any chance you get, otherwise you will loose the significance of this emotion to your partner.

Your goal is to genuinely connect emotionally and uplift your partner but know your limits. You must exercise balance on how often you indulge in sensual pleasures and when it is appropriate to indulge. Indiscriminate and over use of the sense objects and emotions create feelings of obligation, cast doubt on genuineness, and create unnecessary weight on a receiving partner. Unintentionally or intentionally when you are unhappy with marriage and you behave in this way, it could backfire. It may turn even a happy marriage into an unhappy marriage much less fixing the unhappy marriage. Let your intellect be vigilant and exercise control over indiscriminate and excessive use of pampering & sensually stimulating emotions. Please proceed to Part 3 in this series of articles (will be posted in 4 days)

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2 Responses

  1. edith says:

    This is pure genius! Reading truly helped to see what was wrong in my situation. I been dating a guy for about 2 months and i love him but things have been getting a lil rough on both ends… Feel like i kept buying gifts and watever it was to put a smile on him, and avoiding the most important thing making myself happy. I dont wanna loose the guy care about him dearly. Feel like ive never been happy with myself so its destroying our relationship little by little.. what advice can u give??

    • Rakesh Sethi says:

      Edith, it is difficult to offer advice on specific situation without knowing more details about both partners, their desires, motivations, and true underlying natures. However your last line is of concern that needs to be analyzed- why your being happy is destroying the relationship little by little? Think on this. Be Well!

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