Rakesh Sethi, BS, CAHP

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What is Unconditional Love and Its Role in Our Relationships?

Posted on: January 17th, 2011 by Rakesh Sethi 14 Comments

What is unconditional love? Simple as it may appear, it is perhaps the most misunderstood & misused phrase in our relationships.  Unconditional love is a benevolent feeling that emerges from deeper level of our Consciousness (our life coach) for all of creation- rocks, plants, animals, human beings, etc., regardless of their shape, size, color, nature, or actions in the nature.  what is unconditional loveIt is because every one of us has the same Universal Consciousness that is pervading through all life & nonlife forms connecting all of creation to ONE source.

Observe nature & you will find Universal Consciousness expressing Itself differently through each entity in creation depending upon what “clothing” it’s wearing and what role it’s playing in the nature.  Thus the Universal Consciousness is conditioned by the “clothing” it is wearing. Once we understand this truth, living with unconditional love for all forms & beings becomes not only easy but brings peace to us as well.

What is unconditional love in our relationships with other beings and creation around us?  Well, let me try to answer this by telling an interesting mythological story. A very long time ago a king cobra snake ruled good middle portion of the forest by using his wits & scary tactics. Most people & animals were scared of him and tried to take different trails to avoid confronting him.  One day the snake overheard some people travelling thru the forest about a great saint.  Out of curiosity, snake decided to go and listen to what this saint had to say.  Snake didn’t want to create any trouble around so many people so he hid himself between the rocks where he could still clearly hear the saint. The saint spoke truths about of Universal Consciousness, unconditional love, and peace.  The message resonated with snake and from that day forward he decided to change his behavior towards his fellow beings. The snake started to approach all passing through with politeness & affection but much to his dismay he met with rejection and even got stones thrown at him.  Injured, bruised, & with tears in skin, snake was lying on the side of a trail when the saint just happen to pass thru there.  Saint asked the snake what happened.  After listening to the snake’s story, saint clarified that first you must know who you are before jumping into showing unconditional love to just anyone.

The story makes a point, even though unconditional love resonates at our consciousness level, we can not relate unconditionally at the physical level.  First we must know our own conditioning, what “clothing” are we wearing, and then be aware of what “clothing” a person or creation in front of us is wearing.  So while the Loving can and should be unconditional, the Relating at physical level can not be unconditional. If we do not follow this nature’s rule we will be battered, bruised, abused, and left in misery in our relationships.

One Notable Exception– This rule doesn’t apply to a Self-realized person.  Such a person has merged & become one with consciousness. His thoughts & actions are no longer conditioned by his own (ego) body mind & intellect.  Loving & relating for such a person has transcended all physical conditioning & is seen & felt by others simply as pure consciousness.  Examples are Christ, Buddha, & a few others.

So before we reach the Self-realized state, what can we do?

what is unconditional love
As long as we engage in life thru our physical body, mind, and intellect, we see ourselves as separate & distinct from others and our outward actions are conditioned with our desires and ego.  Inadvertently, this makes the relating with the outer physical world conditional as well.  Therefore, for now we must utilize our Unconditional Love (life coach) to guide our actions to be selfless and harmless to others and environment around us.  As a result, one can imagine harmonious relationships, peace, and promoting health & wellness in their lives.

What Do You Think?  Feel Free to Speak Your Mind

Share your comments, thoughts and suggestions below. I appreciate your time & will take the time to read every single one!

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14 Responses

  1. Rakesh Sethi says:

    As you can tell this is a very difficult topic with many opinions. I got following questions as result and I thought answers might help others:

    Q. Is love still unconditional when it requires one to lose self respect, dignity, honor, losing self esteem etc….?
    A. When a person is stripped & humiliated. That person needs healing before giving love.

    Q. Does uncondional love have no room for empathy?
    A. Empathy is one way to express love.

    Q. Does uncoditional love mean, one can walk all over you, and you lie low, saying I love this person uncoditionally, and it is their right to do this to me…..
    A. What you describe above is not even love. It is cruel & selfish act.

    Q. Does unconditional love mean, we give right to other to abuse us?
    A. No- think on the Snake story in the article

    Q. Does uncondtional love mean be fearful of losing other’s love?
    A. Absolutely not!

    Q. Does requirement of an uncoditional love is do as I want?
    A. No “wants” exist in Unconditional level of love

    Q. If you stand up for your right, does it mean your love was wrong, and was conditional?
    A. It only means- You are Relating conditionally to build a relationship which hopefully both parties involved understand the conditional relating & ultimately see beyond to feel the unconditional love.

  2. Enjoyed your article very much…That snake story talks to me very much…specially the phrase
    “So while the Loving can and should be unconditional, the Relating at physical level can not be unconditional.”
    It turned on a light inside!
    Thank you!

  3. Venkat S says:

    Dear Mr.Sethi, you are trying to discuss unconditional love with what has been taught to you by some teacher. Please make things simple by your own experiences.

    Nothing wrong is going to happen even if people do not understand what love is. Let them first understand to live in harmony with themselves and their environment.

    The story is appropriate

    • Rakesh Sethi says:

      Dear Venkat,
      Thanks for your observation! I wrote this article as per discussion and request with my client. Every client in many ways is my teacher. As always one has to experience love him or herself, without any expectations. Please also see my series of articles on happiness in relationships. Be Well, Rakesh

  4. Hello Rakesh,
    I see you are following me on Twitter. I am SO impressed with just the first few readings of yours. YOU ARE AMAZING! Thank you for following me, you are my FAVORITE!

    pls also follow

  5. Dikshi says:

    When I love someone with heart,shall i be forgivable & conscious about my feelings for him????How do I know If I really love him????

    • Rakesh Sethi says:

      1. Forgiveness is an act of love that brings you peace, even if you do not love a person, you should be forgivable. 2. Love at consciousness level is universal and unconditional love. However, love between two physical beings is a feeling that reflects from one to another. To answer if you really love him, you must make him a “mirror” and see what is being reflected back to you. You will have your answer. Between two physical beings you need to have equal and compatible love before you can reach a level of loving unconditionally. Hope that helps. Be Well!

  6. Michaella says:

    Oh what a blessing this was for me!! I very much needed this!

    I have a friendship with a friend who I love so very much but he says that I am good but I need to be better I am guessing he means to grow and know myself better.

    He is happy he likes someone else now so I have taken the Like a sister role Lol and I am just hoping at some point he will understand my feelings.
    This has helped me better understand myself and where I need to grow and how to do it! <3

  7. Ozella Crockett says:

    We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our whole community will be grateful to you.

  8. Dev says:

    For me unconditional love means loving and caring someone without expecting anything in response.this can be with anyone from mother to God.when you don’t have expectations your love becomes immortal.
    unconditional love doesn’t mean surrendering yourself,you need not to show your love.one should act smartly while involved,except for parents & God.for them you also need o surrender your self.
    you rightly said relating at physical level can not be unconditional.World is smart enough to take advantage of you.

  9. Christina Masterman says:

    Thank you Rakesh for this beautiful article -so illuminating. What subject could be more important than the only one that matters? Love. The snake story really resonated with me. I particularly live the emphasis too on clear communication when relating on a physical level. Being is becoming.

  10. Jim Freedom says:

    You speak of self realized person and their nature, do you speak from personal experience or is this just theory? In other words, are you a self realized being?

    I just wrote about my experience of Unconditional Love on my blog at http://www.jimfreedom.com/blog/2012/08/11/what-is-unconditional-love/. I would appreciate your comments on that post. I think you will see that I take a different perspective on this issue, even though there are similarities and agreements.

    • Rakesh Sethi says:

      Jim, self realization is a continuous process taking place everyday & every moment but each being experiences on their own pace. How far I am and you are on this path makes no difference to another person. My attempt is to offer practical suggestions that one can apply in their life and experience the results. Accept what works and reject what doesn’t. I read your article and honor your personal experience as truth on this subject. Be Well!

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